Saturday, February 03, 2007

The grand experiment would be grander if I actually attempted it

I recently wrote about joining a weight-loss group, the Las Vegas Losers.  My theory was that if I participated in an informal group for my own experimental purposes, perhaps I’d be able to lose weight without pressuring myself to do it in a stiff and structured way.  That doesn’t sound like a recipe for weight-loss success, but my problem over the past few years has been that my body is so unpredictable, it’s impossible for me to stick to an exercise plan, an eating plan, etc.  I’d hoped that just the daily reminder that I was part of a weight-loss experiment could help me to find little ways, every day, to make a difference to myself.

While I haven’t weighed myself yet, I have a feeling I haven’t done anything so far to make a difference.  I’ve had to work seven days a week to earn enough money to get by, so even though I work from home, I’m still working more than forty hours per week.  As any FMS patient will tell you, doing anything at all for any length of time ends up being painful and exhausting (yes—even sleeping can be painful and exhausting for an FMS patient!).  I drag myself up in the morning, sit down to work, and drag myself to bed at night.  Exercise seems to be out of the question, given the pain I’m in from working.  Eating properly is difficult because I’m too tired to cook dinner, so I eat whatever is fast and handy.  I’ve been on a “muffin kick” lately because of a cookbook my sister sent for Christmas, so I’ve stayed up late a couple of nights baking interesting muffins.  Those are good for me, high fiber, and low fat, but it’s a drop in the bucket.

So sadly, all I’ve got to report after the first couple of weeks is lots of pain.  The pain gets worse and worse all the time, and the 10mg of oxycondone that used to leave me feeling queasy and dizzy now feels no more effective than a multivitamin.  I’m told to take my 10mg of oxycodone CR twice a day, and then to top it up with up to 20mg of regular oxycodone every four to six hours as needed, and I can’t bring myself to do it.  I’m in pain, but I fear that the pills will be a temporary fix before the pain rises up to be victorious again.  It frustrates me.  I hope it’s just the cooler and damper winter weather causing this, because my FMS gets worse with every passing week.  Forget weight-loss… I’m a winner if I can get out of bed in the morning and actually earn a few dollars.

Posted by Leigh-Ann on 02/03 at 01:12 AM
Las Vegas Losers • (0) Comments • Permalink
Page 1 of 1 pages