Tuesday, March 06, 2007

The doctor brings up Provigil

Not much to say lately, just work, work, and work.  It’s “good stress”—I’m working two jobs from home that I absolutely love—but I’m now dealing with a new enemy.  Instead of just being generally tired and lacking “pep”, I now get along pretty well for three or four days, and then absolutely collapse from exhaustion for the next two.  Since I found pain relief I know I push myself harder, and I think the fatigue is my body’s reminder that I’m only masking my problems, not actually fixing them.  My exhaustion is pretty hard to miss, because I can literally fall asleep if I put my head down on the table after breakfast, or if I close my eyes while sitting at my desk. 

My pain relief isn’t absolute, by any means, but I can use my meds to build a “comfort window” of six to eight hours each day, and that’s when I’m productive.  Outside of that window, I’m too sore and brain-addled to do mental work, but I can cope with things like feeding the pets, making a simple dinner, or watching TV (such a challenge!).  Now that I’m having these major periods of overwhelming fatigue, I may need to add a serious “upper” to my med regime if I want to reclaim that lost time.  The doctor and I discussed it today, and decided we’d make a decision about trying something like Dexadrine or Provigil in two months.  I don’t know if anything like that will help.  I know Provigil kills my brain fog, dead, but it doesn’t necessarily help me stay awake when I just want to fall asleep.  Brain fog and fatigue are two different things.  I’ll keep an open mind, however, and try to settle into some good sleep patterns over the next two months to see if that helps.  I really push myself to the limits because I want to achieve so much.

Today was the first time I told the doctor I’d tried Provigil “illegally” by ordering it from the Internet.  He didn’t bat an eye, he just wanted to know if it worked, and then asked if I wanted him to write me a prescription for it.  Sadly, I couldn’t afford “Made in the USA” Provigil even if I had a legal prescription, so I’d probably end up ordering from Canada.  My meds continue to be so expensive… I think I spend between $400 - $600 per month just on my basics.

Posted by Leigh-Ann on 03/06 at 04:00 AM
Tired Girls • (1) Comments • Permalink
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