Pain and productivity…

...are like oil and water.

My lack of posting is mostly a result of keeping busy, and not for a lack of things to say.  Flippy and I started to apply for freelance jobs back in early October, and suddenly we were swamped with assignments (and new things to learn).  I’m now doing some website design, some freelance “sales” stuff via the Internet, writing three or four blogs, and just about to start working for a mortgage broker (again, I’ll do that online).  It’s been fun and challenging, but I never cease to be amazed at how productivity can be totally suffocated by discomfort.

When I sit down to do work and I’m in pain, my mind wanders.  I have trouble focusing on tasks.  I tend to jump from one thing to another, and I’m easily distracted.  I feel exhausted, even if I’ve just woken up.  However, the second my pain meds kick in, I’m eager to work, enthused, alert, and I really enjoy what I’m doing.  For the last year or so I’ve thought that I wanted a new job and that I was tired of the Internet, but I think I’m just tired of hurting.

I’m really, really happy to have my oxycondone, and it’s totally changed my attitudes about work and life.  Unfortunately, it’s not working as well as it did when I first took it a few years ago.  On a positive note, it never makes me nauseous anymore.  On a negative note, I’m having some break-through pain and have “topped up” once or twice with an extra pill.  I truly don’t think it’s a tolerance issue, I just think my pain is worse than it was a few years ago.

These are issues I’ll bring up with my doctor when I see him again on the 21st.  I’ve read of FMS patients routinely taking 30mg or 40mg of oxycondone daily, and while I hate the thought of that much medication, I’m just not able to live a normal life without it.  At least I have options, which is more than what a lot of people have, and for that I’m very grateful!

Posted by on 11/02 at 10:12 PM

I've been forced to put comments on moderation because of recent spamming, and I've also removed the spot where you can leave the url of your blog. I'm sorry... if you have a blog that you'd like me to add to my blogroll, please email it to me! And spammers, urls left in comments are not converted to links. If by some rare chance you leave a comment which is actually on topic, I'll just remove your url before I approve your comment anyway. Long story short, it's a waste of time to spam here. No one but me will ever see it, and I'll block your IP at the server level.

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